“She who crowns her king … has no king.”
Few men aspire to be Prince Philip.
For those who don’t know, Prince Philip is the husband of Elizabeth II, Queen of England.
He’s married to the queen but he’s just a prince.
In fact, he’s not really a prince. He’s what’s known as a royal consort, or Consort to the Queen, or Prince Consort.
His wife is the queen but he’s not the king. And most men want to be the king—especially in their relationships.
I’ve learned the difference in being considered a “king” or “Prince Consort” in a relationship has more to do with the attitude of the man than the status of the woman.
Some women have the “queen” status of successful careers, financial security, and material possessions, but are still girls at heart and are most impressed by men who make them feel like girls.
Kings and queens, men and women, and boys and girls are just different expressions of the same dynamic. If a man makes a queen feel like a girl, she, as a queen, will respect him as her counterpart—a king.
Gaining a “queen’s” respect and avoiding the status of “Prince Consort” is about emphasizing the characteristics she finds most impressive about you and determining how they relate to the boy/girl dynamic.
I once had an attractive, well-educated female co-worker whose live-in boyfriend barely kept a job and when he did, it wasn’t a very good one. He would visit her at work every Friday when his job (or lack thereof) permitted and they would have lunch together in the cafeteria.
Despite her accolades, financial advantage, and admiration from male colleagues (some whose salaries exceeded hers), this woman was loyal to her man and when she and he interacted on their lunch dates, it was obvious that she was the “girl” in the relationship.
Other women in the office would say things like, “He ain’t ‘bout sh%t … but I bet he puts that good ‘thang’ on her at home.” (Yes, some would actually say ‘thang.’)
They were reducing the guy’s “kingship” to sexuality—and that may have been the case—but whatever it was, he possessed something that attracted his woman to him.
Most men want to earn more money, have more success, and achieve greater social status than their women (it seems instinctive), but may find themselves in a relationship with a woman who surpasses them in those categories.
Fortunately for men, women admire traits like confidence, fortitude, and consistency, so men can compensate for a lack of success and status with attitude and ambition—that is, until ambition doesn’t come up with its half of the rent two months in a row.
Men have the potential to override the social norms of the male/female dynamic but should also be realistic.
Regardless of what women say to make some men feel adequate, they much rather be involved with a man who is in a more prominent situation than themselves. They want to feel like the “girl” in the relationship in as many regards as possible. Any woman who says otherwise sees no potential in her man, feels sorry for her man, or wants a lesser man so she can control his broke a—I mean, take advantage of his meager circumstances.
Men have to understand that terms like “king” and “Prince Consort” are just words and titles we make manifest with our states of mind. And though men should have a basic level of stability–financial and personal–to make a case for themselves, strength and character carry weight in a relationship.
For all we know, Prince Philip’s game is so tight that Queen Elizabeth fills his foot tub with warm water and Epson Salt every night for him to soak his feet, and greases his scalp with a comb and blue hair grease—or mousse, or gel, or whatever he uses.
Perhaps she does it because she’s his woman and respects his strength–or maybe, he puts that good “thang” on her that she can’t resist.
Lesson Learned: Good “thangs” can lead to great things.
