I had about twelve video store memberships when I was in college.
One of my favorite stores to rent from was a location I frequented when I would be home on summer vacation.
I liked the place because it was less popular than other video stores in town and their new releases were usually in stock when I wanted to rent them.
DVD’s were gaining popularity at the time but most of the store’s shelf space was still lined with VHS cassette tapes.
The primary weekday clerk at the store was a nice young lady with whom I would exchange pleasantries and small talk when I visited. She was a Caucasian young lady, tall and slim, and she never charged a fee whenever I would forget to ‘rewind.’ (The weekend clerk never extended the courtesy.)
I rented videos from the store one day, returned home, and heard the (house) phone ring once I placed the videos on the kitchen counter.
I answered the phone and the following conversation took place:
Me: Hello.
Clerk: May I speak to Dante?
Me: This is Dante.
Clerk: Hi, this is (clerk’s name) from (store’s name).
Me: Oh, hi, Ashley … did I leave my license again?
Clerk: (laughs) No, you didn’t leave your license. I wanted to ask you something. I got your number from your account; I hope you don’t mind.
Me: Nah, it’s cool … what’s up?
Clerk: I wanted to know if you would like to go out sometime.
Me: Oh, um …
Clerk: I hope I’m not being too forward.
Me: Oh, nah … um.
Clerk: If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I just thought I would ask.
Me: Oh, nah, it’s cool … um.
Clerk: You’ve been coming in the store for a while and I’ve always thought you were fine. I just never said anything—I hope I’m not embarrassing you.
Me: No, I’m not embarrassed.
Clerk: Oh … well, are you seeing someone?
Me: Um, yeah, I’m … seeing someone.
Clerk: Oh, I’m sorry. I should have asked first … I feel stupid.
Me: Nah, don’t feel stupid … you didn’t know.
Clerk: Oh, okay …
Me: (silent pause)
Clerk: Is the person you’re seeing black?
Me: Uh, yeah … she’s black.
Clerk: Oh, okay … so do you date white girls?
Me: Um … no, not typically … no.
Clerk: Why not, are you prejudice?
Me: No, not really … I mean, no.
Clerk: (laughs) You’re funny.
Me: Right …
Clerk: So you’ve never dated a white girl?
Me: Nope, never.
Clerk: Not enough booty, huh?
Me: No, not necessarily. Just never have.
Clerk: I wish I had more booty.
Me: Oh, okay.
Clerk: So, are you sure you’ve never dated a white girl?
Me: Yeah, I’m sure.
Clerk: You look like you would.
Me: What do you mean I look like I would?
Clerk: You look like you would date white girls.
Me: Why do you say that?
Clerk: You look like the type of guy to date outside of his race.
Me: Like O.J.?
Clerk: (laughs) No, not like O.J. … you just look like you would.
Me: Well, nah, I never haven’t.
Clerk: I have a little girl at home … her daddy is black.
Me: Oh, okay.
Clerk: He tries to do for her, but I wish he would do more. If it wasn’t for this little job, I don’t know what I would do.
Me: Oh, okay. Well, I hope he keeps … trying.
Clerk: Me and his mama don’t get along. She can’t stand me.
Me: Yeah, that happens sometimes.
Clerk: I try to make peace for my daughter’s sake but that woman is just mean.
Me: Yeah, mothers can be protective.
Clerk: She told my daughter’s father that she’s tired of seeing little mixed babies in Walmart.
Me: Wow.
Clerk: She says things like that all the time.
Me: Yeah, that’s, um … yeah.
Clerk: But look at me telling you my sad stories … you don’t care about that.
Me: Nah, you’re good.
Clerk: So, do you have children?
Me: Nah, no children.
Clerk: That’s good. ‘Baby Mama Drama’ ain’t no joke.
Me: Yeah, I’ve heard.
Clerk: But you’ll make some woman lucky one day.
Me: Uh, yeah, I hope so.
Clerk: You will … you look like the ‘good guy’ type.
Me: Yeah, like O.J.
Clerk: (laughs) You’re crazy. But you do.
Me: I guess.
Clerk: Well, I have some customers …
Me: Yeah, I need to watch these movies.
Clerk: Okay, I’ll see you when you bring them back.
Me: Yeah, I’ll see you then.
Clerk: Alright, bye.
Me: Later.
(Side note: This still remains one of the most uncomfortable conversations I’ve ever had. When I returned the movies to the store, the young lady and I both acted like it never happened.)
Lesson learned: Hello … aye, y’all got Jungle Fever in? Oh, y’all got two? Oh okay, hold one of’em for me. I’m ‘bout to come down there now.
